Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
