He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
