Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
