I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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