that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
