Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
