Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
