He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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