Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
