Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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