It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
