I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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