Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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