i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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