When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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