Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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