idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
