i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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