Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize