Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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