if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
