Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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