I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
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