Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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