HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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