walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
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