Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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