you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
