he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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