out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
