Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Blood and glitter go together right?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
