found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Don't EVER smell your tampon
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
