my mouth tastes like poor choices
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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