I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
