I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
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