I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
