he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
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