He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
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