Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
May the power of my ass compel you!!
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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