If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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