do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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