If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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