So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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