Can i not drive my cunt home
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
