Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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