im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
