just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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