this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
