we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
