If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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