Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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