I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
