You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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