The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
