Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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