The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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