he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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