i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
