youre lurking in front of me
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
