Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
