Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
