On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
