Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
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The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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