She tied me up with her honor cords...
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
