I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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