the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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