Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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