We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
