you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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